The post-lunch blog post I was going to write:
Oh glory day! The temperature has shot up to 70 degrees for the first time since October! People are slinging jackets over their arms as they walk. Couples are dining at outdoor cafés. Men are strolling shirtless down Christopher Street. I took off my sweater and felt the sun on my pale little arms for the first time in months. Whee! Enjoy this one day of joy because it’s back to rainy, 50-degree days for the foreseeable future.
The post-lunch blog post that evolved as I sat on a bench by the Hudson River:
Thin, loud-talking, NY-accented white guy sitting next to me wearing a denim jacket (never trust a guy in a denim jacket), to his friend: “Frank knows I only screw girls who are B-L-A-C-K. Why would I f*** his girlfriend? She’s Puerto Rican! And Frank’s 56 and she’s five years older than he is. So I popped him one—WHAM! I don’t know if I broke his nose or something, but there was a crack. My lady I’ve been with for thirty years she knows I mess around behind her back but even she told him I only do it with black chicks.”
His buddy, a black fellow in a tracksuit who not only knew many locals who passed, but repeatedly sold them drugs while I sat there: “Nice, man.”
What follows is a lengthy recollection of another time Frank screwed the first guy over: “He calls and says his lady found rubbers in his suitcase so he begs me to tell her they are my rubbers and he’s just holding them for me. So I do it and my old lady finds out and gets pissed and takes back the Cadillac she just bought me. Takes it right back to the dealership.”
Other dude: “It’s rough. Real rough.”
The blonde, European lesbian couple on the other side of me on the bench moves away, but I feign reading and am mesmerized.
Oh glory day! The temperature has shot up to 70 degrees for the first time since October! People are slinging jackets over their arms as they walk. Couples are dining at outdoor cafés. Men are strolling shirtless down Christopher Street. I took off my sweater and felt the sun on my pale little arms for the first time in months. Whee! Enjoy this one day of joy because it’s back to rainy, 50-degree days for the foreseeable future.
The post-lunch blog post that evolved as I sat on a bench by the Hudson River:
Thin, loud-talking, NY-accented white guy sitting next to me wearing a denim jacket (never trust a guy in a denim jacket), to his friend: “Frank knows I only screw girls who are B-L-A-C-K. Why would I f*** his girlfriend? She’s Puerto Rican! And Frank’s 56 and she’s five years older than he is. So I popped him one—WHAM! I don’t know if I broke his nose or something, but there was a crack. My lady I’ve been with for thirty years she knows I mess around behind her back but even she told him I only do it with black chicks.”
His buddy, a black fellow in a tracksuit who not only knew many locals who passed, but repeatedly sold them drugs while I sat there: “Nice, man.”
What follows is a lengthy recollection of another time Frank screwed the first guy over: “He calls and says his lady found rubbers in his suitcase so he begs me to tell her they are my rubbers and he’s just holding them for me. So I do it and my old lady finds out and gets pissed and takes back the Cadillac she just bought me. Takes it right back to the dealership.”
Other dude: “It’s rough. Real rough.”
The blonde, European lesbian couple on the other side of me on the bench moves away, but I feign reading and am mesmerized.
Photo by me of Hudson River Park 'round 2 p.m. today.
10 comments:
I'm pretty sure that kind of thing is what my mom was talking about when she told me New York City was a truck stop along the road to Perdition.
I love that story! That was hilarious!
Enjoy the nice weather. A similar thing is going on here: it's supposed to be 76 degrees and sunny on Saturday, 71 and cloudy Sunday, and then back to rain, rain, rain and 50 degrees the rest of the week.
Thanks for that story. It was hilarious and I laughed for a long time. I appreciate it.
i am home sick (have some vicious lung infection) -- so for an hour today, i tanned on the fire escape in a bathing suit. this is the best day in awhile, isn't it?
the new puppy comes home in 4 weeks - and we're doing nothing but hanging out in prospect park every weekend (and most weekday evenings) until november. =D come meet up with us!
That's the best New York story I've heard in a while.
I hope you disinfected yourself after getting off that bench.
As far as "tanning" goes, I am dismayed to report that after 30 minutes sitting in the sun yesterday, I have a sunburn on my chest in the shape of my v-neck top and the EXACT outline of the necklace I was wearing. It's like one of those experiments with light-sensitive paper I did as a kid.
Apparently I have not removed my coat and scarf in the out-of-doors since September. California girl I am no longer.
Dude, that is sweet...and NOT a conversation you hear at UCLA.
I'd write about what I hear during my lunch breaks, but it might resemble...
"And like, you have to do all this writing. Two papers! I didn't know it was going to be like that. I want drop it."
"English classes suck."
ps. You might to change the title of the post to "local flavor" or "local deals." Since your post deals with race, you probably want to stay away from any word that has racial connotations.
Or maybe I'm just way too PC, I don't know.
Or maybe that was intentional...
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