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Some of you are not on Facebook and so will have not been privy to the onslaught of acquaintances posting "25 Random Things About Me" in true high-school chain-letter fashion. Now, don't get me wrong. Some of my friends who've sent these out have been very funny and insightful. Some not so much. I will not name names. This began about two days ago, and the backlash has already started (with such luminaries as Alex Charlow declaring that the phenomenom must stop and wondering when Facebook became MySpace). Oh, the dazzling, short-lived wildfires of Internet memes.

I can't imagine why friends of mine would want to be subjected to 25 random facts about yours truly (or, like Charlow says, if they were real friends they'd already know 25 things about me), so I submit:

Barack Obama's 25 Random Things About Me

1. My wife is hotter than yours.

2. I eschew suit jackets.

3. I don’t stand for decorative plates.

4. I am aware how disarming my smile is.

5. I gave Hillary a cabinet post because I was afraid if I didn’t, she’d beat the s*** out of me.

6. My abs are harder than yours.

7. As a liberal, I am also a closet states’-rights supporter.

8. I know that someday Rahm Emanuel will say something really, really stupid and ruin my administration.

9. This is not the America I signed up for when I began my campaign.

10. I actually think Bush was an OK guy. Now, that Bill Clinton …

11. My website is cooler than yours.

12. I will smoke cigarettes if I want to.

13. I didn’t like the inaugural poem, either.

14. I am afraid that someday Joe Biden will say something really, really stupid and ruin my administration.

15. I will pop up at the Capitol any time I damn well please. Surprise! It’s the President! Everyone look busy!

16. My kids are cuter than yours.

17. Jed Bartlet is my secret hero.

18. I inhaled. Deal with it.

19. I will always resent Justice Roberts for screwing up my Oath of Office.

20. My favorite color is blue. I mean red. I mean, blue and red working together. … Actually yellow—doesn’t my wife look lovely in yellow?

21. I secretly thought Obama Girl was funny.

22. My hometowns are way more exotic and interesting than yours.

23. I like women, gays, the environment, human rights, and fiscal responsibility. Deal with it.

24. My basketball skills are better than yours.

25. Oh yes, we did.

Sincerely,

The 44th President
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And in Boston news ...

Yay! Where else would people browse obscure magazines while waiting to meet friends in Harvard Square?

Corporation rescues Out of Town stand

Boo! What is with these Democratic governors not wanting anyone to have fun? (Ahem, Paterson.)

Battle lines drawn over alcohol taxes

In sweet shops, a sour response to candy tax

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And in food news...

It’s Thursday. I’m procrastinating. Let’s talk about something really important. (Beware: high-level thinking ahead.)

Fruits and Vegetables that Are a Pain in the Ass to Eat but Totally Worth It

Grapefruit: Requires carefully cutting out tiny triangles along membranes. But oh so juicy and good!

Winter squash (spaghetti, acorn, et al.): Necessitates a buzz-saw to get into, and eons of cooking to make tender. But so tasty!

Mango: Even after my brother passed down to me from his girlfriend the correct way to slice open, dice, and delicately cut away the meat from the peel, it still takes me 10 minutes of careful concentration to complete this maneuver. But so slimy sweet!

Artichokes: I mean, come on. What human decided that any part of this plant was edible? And while I eschew my childhood dip-in-Miracle-Whip technique, I still think the heart is worth the hassle of steaming these pokey guys.

Peaches: I refuse to eat peaches whole. They are fuzzy! It’s like eating a small, furry animal! So they are only worth it when canned or when someone else has done the work of peeling. And baking into a cobbler. With cinnamon.

Avocado: Okay, not hard to get into, but hard to wait until they are ripe enough. Takes forever! And I have been known to injure myself when attempting to spear the pit with a knife for removal. Slippery bugger!

Pineapple: Again, very pokey. And heavy. And I think requires a machete to open appropriately.

So what’s the perfect fruit or vegetable? One that requires no power tools to open, no intricate slicing or peeling? Fruit roll-ups.

What are your favorite difficult-to-love treats from nature? (And don’t say “cows,” funny guy, unless you’ve butchered one yourself.)

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So that you don’t think I hate all movies, let me mention another film I saw this week that was actually quite good: the Norwegian film “Reprise,” which was released in the U.S. earlier this year and is now available on DVD. Why is it worth seeing?

- When do you get to see a bunch of handsome young men bounce around Oslo?

- Intricate and effective breaking down of time. For instance, in one scene between former lovers meeting again after a long spell, you see them talking at a café and walking in a park, and you don’t really know from the voiceover dialogue at exactly what point the words were spoken. It’s more like a visual poem with emotions floating in air.

- Everyone in Norway looks like Brian Hurley.

- The premise is that two young men, best friends, submit their novels to publishers at the same time. From that one point, their lives diverge, remerge, and separate again in an interweaving dance of friendship, madness, and literary ambition. (Much like the futures of many of my friends, right?)

- The cinematography and art direction create a stark, sharply contrasting film in blacks, grays, and blues that is simply lovely.

- The two screenwriters themselves are relatively young, hip, bookish guys with a sense of humor about what it’s like to be overly serious 22-year-olds with literary obsessions and a penchant for punk music.

- The fictional object of authorial admiration has a name that is really fun to say: Sten Egil Dahl. Come on, try it. Sten Egil Dahl …

NY Times review, if mine’s not sufficient: Two Friends, Two Novels, One Mailbox

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So much book news!

I just today found out that a super-sweet kid I worked with at the Daily Nexus at UCSB is about to have his first book published. Coming out Feb. 1 in hardcover from Overlook Press is Darwin Slept Here: Discovery, Adventure and Swimming Iguanas in Charles Darwin's South America.

This book sounds very cool—he basically followed in Darwin’s footsteps and wrote a naturalist travelogue about it. And it has a blurb from Michael Pollan! Yowza.

Way to go, Eric!

Quick shout-out…

To my old boss, editor, mentor, and hero, whose first book was just published.

Battling Big Box: How Nimble Niche Companies Can Outmaneuver Giant Competitors

Check out this interview where he not only is he so cutely Henry, but he obliquely mentions such folks as me, an original employee of the Pacific Coast Business Times on whom he took a chance and then empowered and trusted to run his newspaper. I am forever grateful.

He’s a great model for an entrepreneur, and if you’re at all interested in this topic, you should buy this book.
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My review of the Oscar darling in 45 words

“Slumdog Millionaire”

Cheesy and predictable. Terribly exploitive. Pretty colors. Cute kids. Below average quality for a Danny Boyle film. On par with “Darjeeling Limited” for making me feel uncomfortable about the Western misreading and misrepresentation of Indian culture. NOT deserving of 10 Academy awards. The end.

(Good, quick read: What India Hates About Slumdog Millionaire)

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Best wishes go out to my mom, who apparently just went into the hospital for a couple days for surgery, after already being quite ill for some time. She won't see this until she's home, but in the meantime if you all could send good thoughts her way, I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

Love you, Mama!

Update: 8 a.m. 1/28: Surgery delayed! Hoorah. She still needs all our love, though.

Happy Chinese Lunar New Year!

I’m a day late with this, but alas!

The Chinese New Year is actually a 15-day-long Spring Festival, with different traditions for each day. Scroll down here to see. Today is the day for married women to visit their parents, to pray to our ancestors, and be extra nice to dogs. I love cultures that rightly celebrate the birth of a new year as the renewal of Earth’s cycle and the heralding of the coming spring. In these winter doldrums, we need to be reminded that the slumbering natural world will soon reawaken.
Here’s a great story I found (okay, it’s also from Wikipedia) that explains how the years got assigned the 12 animals associated with them.

A legend explains the sequence in which the animals were assigned. Supposedly, the twelve animals fought over the precedence of the animals in the cycle of years in the calendar, so the Chinese gods held a contest to determine the order. All the animals lined up on the bank of a river and were given the task of getting to the opposite shore. Their order in the calendar would be set by the order in which the animals managed to reach the other side.

The cat wondered how he would get across if he was afraid of water. At the same time, the ox wondered how he would cross with his poor eyesight. The calculating rat suggested that he and the cat jump onto the ox's back and guide him across. The ox was steady and hard-working so that he did not notice a commotion on his back. In the meanwhile, the rat sneaked up behind the unsuspecting cat and shoved him into the water. Just as the ox came ashore, the rat jumped off and finished the race first. The lazy pig came to the far shore in twelfth place.

And so the rat got the first year named after him, the ox got the second year, and the pig ended up as the last year in the cycle. The cat finished too late to win any place in the calendar, and vowed to be the enemy of the rat forevermore.

Here are some traditional New Year paintings in the Yangliuqing style, named after its town of origin. It is customary to decorate the front door with prints such as these to send good wishes to friends.

Best wishes for the Year of the Ox!

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Girly gripe of the day

We live in a world of outstanding technological achievement. The telecommunications industry has been innovating new devices and services at an astounding rate during our lifetimes. Nanotechnology and materials sciences, precision laser surgery and biotechnological advancements are the frontrunners in transforming our lives as we know them. Cliché alert: We have put a man on the Moon (and rovers on Mars)…

… but we cannot make nylons that don’t get runs in them the instant you put them on! I mean, come on! I blame the dearth of women in science for this despicable disparity of textile improvement. Boo.

Wary of Gillibrand

I don't know yet how to fee about our new U.S senator. Supports same-sex marriage but also the gun lobby? Hmm...

NY Times: Senate Choice: Folksy Centrist Born to Politics


Empire State Pride Agenda statement

A guilty goodbye

There was a homeless man who lived on my block. In the spring he took up residence on a patch of sidewalk against the chain-link fence in front of the abandoned lot just down from my house. He materialized one day and never left.

Tall, dark, he shambled back and forth in front of the car shop, sometimes muttering to no one. Or he sat on chunk of concrete with his head lowered. He made no motion as people passed him by with nonchalant acceptance or slight caution.

As leaves fell, he accumulated blankets—a blue comforter with outsized pink flowers, a maroon sleeping bag. He acquired a puffy jacket. He used a pizza box to block out the first snow. Then, just as suddenly as he had appeared, he vanished. I noticed his absence the day after the first big freeze. That day, workers came to do their quarterly cleanup of the vacant lot. Now he is gone, along with his pile of donated belongings.

Unless he returns in the spring I will continue to have this nagging wonder: Did someone take him to a shelter? Did the cleanup crew throw away his things and force him to move on? Did he freeze there on the sidewalk?

And more troublesome, how wrong was I to never help him? Is it worse to have never tried to speak with him or give him food, or to be happy I no longer have to feel the apprehension of walking past him to get to my apartment? What would others have done in this situation? Why did he choose our random block of Greenwood Heights as his abode anyway?

All I can do is hope he’s somewhere safe and warm. And that I do.

Oscar coinage

There’s so much online commentary and virtual hand-wringing over today’s Oscar nominations announcement that you don’t need to hear my two cents.

But it’s my blog and I’m going to give you at least one-and-a-half pence. A shilling? Maybe a guilder or two.

Thanks to Brian for pointing me to the critic’s take in the SF Chronicle: “Don't count on 'Milk' bringing home the statue.” I basically agree, so go read him instead of me and then come back.

Back now? Okay, let me just say I’m shocked that “Milk” even got the nominations it did. I thought surely the fact that I’m such a fan of the movie (read: waited months for it to come out, wholeheartedly cried at least twice during it, and was inspired and moved like I rarely am) meant that the Academy would hate it. But they liked it!

Not nearly so much as they liked “Slumdog Millionaire” and “Benjamin Button,” though, and therein lies the problem. I suspect that these two films are not worth the number of nods they received. Have I seen them? No. But that does not prevent me from having opinions on them, from reading reviews and getting firsthand accounts from friends. I’m sure they are fine films, but are remarkably overrated.

Meanwhile, “Revolutionary Road,” which I did see, got zippo major nominations. Not for the brilliant acting jobs by both Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, nor for the loving, stark, and faithful adaptation of the novel. Seems the voters were attracted by the flashy colors of “Slumdog” and hit by the kneejerk, guilty admiration for a Holocaust film in “The Reader,” and overlooked this wonderful bit of cinema.

P.S. We all know Robert Downey, Jr., is awesome, but a nomination for “Tropic Thunder?” Really? Huh.

Okay, that’s my three bits, five drachmas. Feel free to argue amongst yourselves.

Don't these people have anything better to do with their time?

A parents' group is protesting the title of a Britney Spears song, "If You Seek Amy," because it sounds obscene if you say it quickly.

Yeah, took me a minute, too.

Apparently they are also against kids learning how to spell.

Congratulations to the 44th President. Yay, America!

I don’t really have a lot of time to blog today, but I can’t let this moment go without commenting on how proud, inspired, uplifted, and hopeful I feel after watching President Barack Hussein Obama’s oath of office and speech this afternoon. I know some of this blog’s readers find us Obama supporters naïve, but I hope that for this one day we can all rejoice at the tremendous progress the country has made to even have elected an individual from such a background, and that we can agree that America is poised to become a better world leader and caretaker of its citizens.

Other notes:

- Watching the all the Obamas at the inauguration today, they are just so cute I could eat them up. :)

- That poem at after Obama’s speech was TERRIBLE. Honestly.

-Yo-Yo Ma, et al, kicked ass though. That song was perfect.

- I hope all my friends who traveled from afar to D.C. this weekend are having an amazing experience, getting close enough to see something, and not getting trampled.

- Unlike many of the people I know, I feel that Bush deserves our respect as he exits the office. It’s far too easy to blow raspberries and wish him good riddance and not give a thought to the unthinkable decisions he’s had to make over the past eight years. I feel kind of sorry for the guy.

Cheers to the next four years!!! May all our lives be just a little better, as long as we work to make them so, too.

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I take an evening walk in the snow.

I get obsessed with the glow from streetlamps. And diminishing perspective. I decide that Park Slope is an insanely charming, dreamlike neighborhood on a snowy evening.


Click here.

Who's afraid of the Big, Bad Gay?

(Sorry if you already saw this on Facebook. I decided to post it here, too.)

Thanks, Fox News, for reminding me just what prejudicial insanity us gay-rights lovers (i.e. normal people) are up against. Here are some choice quotes from this story that frets about the despicable, immoral activities that conservative Christians assume are on tap at LGBT-hosted inaugural parties this weekend.

Gay America Prepares To Party at Obama Inauguration

“I think (the) inauguration should be kept away from that. Christians may love the individual, but they are offended by the gay lifestyle. It’s unhealthy — spiritually, emotionally and physically.”

"This is the most vile event, and it’s being held at a swanky hotel where conferences regularly occur.”

"I think most Americans would be put off if they knew what went on at these parties. … Every special interest group has a ball of some sort, but this is not just any special interest group. More than half the country considers their behavior immoral.”

"For all their cries of inclusion and openness, there are few groups out there more intolerant and hateful than the gay community."

"Let America see liberalism in all of its self-absorbed lunacy. Then maybe America will only have to tolerate four years of the madness.”

If by “lunacy,” you mean all people having the freedom to love whom they want, then by god, let’s get crazy. I can't believe that there are still people in America clinging to the notion that people who happen to be attracted to the opposite gender are therefore obsessive, aberrant sex maniacs. How could they possibly fail to see they are people just like themselves, who throw and attend perfectly normal parties that do not involve giant orgies? I am dumbfounded.

Also, thanks, Jezebel, for posting a hilarious response to this ridiculous article. You should all read this:

Religious Right Promises A Gay Inaugural Orgy

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Also fighting a good fight ...

Thank you, California, Illinois, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Oregon, Rhode Island, and Connecticut, for calling President Bush on his bullshit attempt to limit women's access to contraceptives and overall control of their own bodies and futures.

7 States Sue Government Over U.S. Abortion Rule

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Read this.

If any of you wonder why I feel it necessary to keep fighting for gay rights, read this strong, succinct summation of where the battle stands, and why it must continue. From the NY Times op-ed page.

Gay but Equal?

Photo of candlelight march after the 1978 assassinations of Harvey Milk and George Moscone

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Plane Crash: The Day After

Not shockingly, the New York Times waxes poetic.

"Over the next hour, as a captivated city watched continuous television reports and the Hudson turned from gold to silver in the gathering winter twilight, all of the passengers, including at least one baby, and both pilots and all three flight attendants, were transferred to the rescue boats — a feat that unfolded as the white-and-blue jetliner continued to drift south."

Apparently this was the most beautiful plane crash ever. Brings a tear to my eye, really.
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Plane crash

There's, as you know, a flurry of e-mails, Facebook postings, and comments about the US Airways plane that just crash-landed in the Hudson River.

1) Most importantly, no, my boyfriend, who IS on a plane right now, was not on that flight. Whew. Not to say the initial headlines didn't give me a heart attack.

2) I've been hearing an awful lot of sirens for the past hour, and I imagine it could be emergency vehicles going to or from the river and the big hospital down the street from my office.

3) Those poor people! It's already one of the coldest days of the winter (wind chill near zero), and now they have been dunked in the river! My god!

4) If I still worked at Penguin I could see the crash site from someone's office, or have walked a block to the river and seen it.

5) I read a story not two days ago trumpeting how no major airlines have had a crash in a few years. At the time I thought, "Way to jinx it." And I was right.

6) Yesterday I read a short story by Margaret Atwood about a crash landing in water. So maybe I jinxed it.

7) Jinxing or no, I hope everyone's okay and they get to a hospital and get some hot chocolate soon.

8) Good updates on Gothamist.

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Open, open, open (*fingers tapping*)

Spotted last night, scribbled in black magic maker on the plywood still covering the doors of the C-Town under renovation at 25th St. and 4th Ave. in Brooklyn (the only, albeit tiny, grocery story reasonably close to my apartment, which has been closed for several months):

WHEN IS THIS GOD DAMN STORE GONNA REOPEN?

My sentiments exactly.

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Oh man, this is cool.

Now you you can make your own Obama-style poster.

Sweet.

Totally annoying

Look, television gods. All I'm trying to do is catch a little post-Golden Globes action on "Extra" while I wait for "Jeopardy" to come on. I don't need you to suddenly take over ALL MY CHANNELS for five minutes with a rainbow screen and the following message:

"If you are seeing this message, you have FAILED the DTV transition test, and you will not be able to watch TV on this set after Feb. 17. .... blah blah"

Okay, I get it. I am poor and have gotten away with using rabbit ears for the past nine years, but someone has now decreed that TV broadcasting has to be all fancy-like. Fine. I already sent away for the stupid coupon and now need to buy the stupid converter box. Great. I'm still crossing my fingers that come Feb. 17 I will still have free access to the splendid programming on the networks, PBS, and Telemundo. But apparently that is not to be.

I read the other day that once this conversion occurs, us cheapos will have reduced service because the converter boxes will only latch onto channels with full signals. No more "Oh, it's fine, I can kind of see it." No, it's all or nothing. PLUS, we'll have to make the box thingamajig scan for new channels every so often.

Pain in the petutie, if you ask me. Guess it's back to good ol' book readin'.

Whee!

Fiction Reading Increases for Adults

See? It's not all bad news out there.

Old-fashioned heist perpetrated by local morons

Three arrested in Murphys Hotel robbery

This kind of thing doesn't often happen in my hometown. I say they plead innocent and blame the ghost of Joaquin Murieta.

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I am smarter than CNN

Usually I mock CNN headlines because they are ludicrously sensationalistic or remarkably lowbrow. (Yes, today is my day of adverbs ending in -ly—shut up.) But there's one up currently that I must point out is just factually incorrect. To make myself feel better.

Caverns by kayak

What? *choke snortle!* Everyone knows that sea caves are caves and not caverns! There's totally a humungo difference. C'mon CNN. I'm not letting you get away with this one. What, are your editors busy with stories about the killing of innocent children in Gaza or something?

I, as an uppity former tour guide at an actual limestone cavern, will not stand for this nonsense.

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But speaking of cave-averns, check out this amazing one in Mexico with giganctic, ancient crystals that was just featured in National Geographic. Awesome.

I know I'm bad at geography.

I blame my otherwise-wonderful pre-secondary education for spending too much time on the nebulous area of "social studies" than on teaching us world capitals.

So it should come as no surprise that in reading the astoundingly good Vietnam War novel Tree of Smoke by Denis Johnson, I would be a bit lost as to the relative locations of events. But even I was taken aback at how repeatedly adrift I felt while reading the novel, which floats among the Philippines, Singapore, South Vietnam, Kuala Lumpur, and lots of places in between.

Having finished the novel last night, and still basking in the glow of just how outrageously admirable the writing was, I looked up a map of Southeast Asia and realized I should have done so long ago.

Oh, that's where Thailand is! Indonesia is right above Australia! I am a moron. Denis Johnson is a god. The above map is for you all to memorize. There will be a quiz. No. 2 pencils only, please.

This would explain all the sirens I've been hearing.

Report: Jumper Falls to Death at Empire State Building
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I absolutely refuse to call anything a "wovel."

The Wovel: Literary Alternative To Browsing Blogs

Better late than?

Um, thanks, New York Times, for coming out several months after the fact in opposition to Arkansas' voter-approved ban on gay couples (and unmarried heterosexual couples) adopting children.

Editorial: The Best Interests of the Child

We'll keep fighting the good fight, including trying to get the major media outlets to be a smidge more on the ball.

Publishing ‘News’

Two articles in the Times today of note. The first, Puttin’ Off the Ritz: The New Austerity in Publishing is your standard no-s*** story, with some silly quotes by heavy hitters in the industry. Couple thoughts:

1. “For decades the New York publishing world promised a romantic life of fancy lunches, sparkling parties, sophisticated banter and trips to spots like the Caribbean to pitch books to sales representatives.”

What? Seriously? When? How did I miss that?

2. I’m sad they didn’t use Amanda Urban’s common nickname: “Binky.”

3. I love this quote: “It’s not like you have books that can be Manolo Blahniks and books that can be Cole Haan. A book by James Patterson costs the same as a book by some poet.” I believe this means Ms. Urban cannot name one poet, but can easily rattle off high-end shoe brands.

4. I would not call BEA a “jamboree.”

Secondly, there’s this: The Times to Sell Display Ads on the Front Page. Egads. Is nothing sacred?

And one more photo

This is me and some friends (Jane, Ashley, and Danielle) at one of the parties I went to on New Year's Eve. We all have long hair and bangs, yay!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Photo bonanza continues.

I am being selective about what I put up, I promise.

Here's a little slice of time with a lot of locations. Starting Christmas Day if Murphys, then down to San Francisco the next day and across the Boston overnight. Whew!

See photo album here.

N'Hampsh

I posted some photos from the Hurley-Leslie-Mazwi family trip to Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire that took place after Christmas. You can see them here.