· Wonder Woman. That outfit is entirely too constricting.· Broadway actress/dancer/singer. I came to the realization around age 15 that I cannot act, dance, nor sing. The world is probably better for it.
· Teacher. I find children to be strange, terrifying little creatures.
· Interior decorator. Throw-pillow coordination was not offered as a major at my liberal arts research university.
· Botanist. Apparently this requires more in-depth scientific analysis than just liking to look at wildflowers.
· Professional cheerleader. I’m afraid of heights. You try balancing on one leg on a person’s shoulder.
· Photographer. A guidance counselor told me the only way to make money was shooting products like car tires for ads. No thanks!
· Writer. Hm. We’ll keep working on this one.
Things I should have wanted to be when I grew up (and why they haven’t worked out…yet):
· Hedge-fund manager. I believe this requires one to know what a hedge fund is, and to have retained math skills above a fourth-grade level.
· Prize-winning reality-show contestant. I like to think I have more pride than that. (Plus, I just never seem to get the advance info on the auditions!)
· Trust-fund baby. I don’t have the right last name for this.
· Connoisseur of peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches. If only. I’d be totally rich by now
· Cosmetic surgeon. Gross.
· That chick on the Travel Channel who goes around staying in swank hotels and eating delicious food in exotic counties while mugging for the camera. How in hell do you get a job like this? Sign me up!· Trophy wife. My current significant other has no shelf space for trophies.
· Well-paid blogger. You never know!
What do you want to be when you grow up?
9 comments:
The Devil.
Again, scared of Kari.
Advice - Don't grow up. It isn't worth the effort.
Maybe you should have told me that a little sooner! :)
This was one of your best posts ever. I remember when you still wanted to be Wonder Woman. If you had her invisible jet you could avoid all the cold winter walking and subway rides.
I also found that I liked learning the results of scientific research much more than the drudgery and repetition of actually doing it.
Your hedge-fund manager comment is very funny applies to me too. Even my basic math skills have been killed by constant calculator use.
Photographer.
I met a couple my age in downtown Portland who are both professional photographers. He takes product photos full time just like you said. She does weird photo essay stuff for magazines in New York and elsewhere. (Her site had shoots of people hanging by their flesh from hooks with dramatic lighting, alongside half-assed, condescending, human interest stories.)
He works very hard and seems quite decent. She travels for free and goes to fancy parties with all the right people. She got her job by being a trendy snotty rich girl who knew and blew all the right people and devoted her life to going to the right cocktail parties in the first place. I asked her what her first paying photo job was and she laughed and said she could not remember. (It seemed she didn't care much about photography) She makes fun of him for being a "corporate whore" and "sellout". She laughed at him.
So yes, you can be a photographer, either tire photos for the man, or your own art as long as you bow down to the life of shmoozing and BS.
Professional cheerleader.
All those times I had to watch those competitions on TV, man. Good thing you didn't choose that. Not much longevity there. How many thirty-something cheerleaders do you know?
That chick on the Travel Channel.
I watch something like that show in HD on Comcast and the woman is always skiing in the Alps in the summer before getting a ride in a horse-drawn carriage along a winding road lined with perfect flowering trees on her way to a free five star meal. Speaking of who you know and who you...
Thanks for the fun post.
I hate it when I leave a word (and) out of a sentence and I can't go back and fix it like on my own blog.
Hey, I just read your post and didn't even notice it, so no worries.
I thought later I should have mentioned about being a dancer/singer/actress that my brothers always told me I wasn't any good, and they were right. :)
I wanted to teach. Children are strange, terrifying creatures, but they can still make me laugh when the day is lousy.
carolyn - this post is truly AMAZING. loved it! and altho the outfit is uncomfortable, pain is beauty, and i think you should reconsider the wonder woman thing. :) also, botany! cause plants rock.
when am i going to see you again? it's been forever. i've finally adjusted to having a Job... but now i need to finish my thesis. yuck. what is new?
aimes
Post a Comment