Does anyone else have this problem?

I occasionally give money to good causes (Sierra Club, Nature Conservancy, Women Against Sarah Palin—not a real group but should be). This apparently puts me on a DONATOR! list that tells other worthy causes to deluge me with solicitations. For some reason, the gimmick they all use is to send labels with a little picture and my name and address. This is somehow supposed to entice or guilt me into forking over cash. Looking for a pen in a drawer at home last night I was shocked to see how many sheets of these I’ve accumulated.

I have seascapes and forests, pinecones and grapes, birds of every color, wintry scenes and picturesque shacks, caterpillars and ladybugs, autumn leaves and Christmas snow—I even have Ziggy! I could wallpaper my bathroom with these labels! I could decorate a binder for every high-school subject! I could cover my body with them and go as Do-Gooder Girl for Halloween!

I am perplexed. I only mail about one letter a month—my rent. At that rate, I’ll have to live at this same address for the next 38.4 years to use up all these labels! Even if you include my Christmas card mailing (send me your address before I forget!) that’s only about another 12 I use up each year.

I’m taking suggestions. I’d write you all adoring letters in longhand, but these labels are free and stamps are not. There’s the rub.

Feel free to send me suggestions.